How do we get through to an 11 year old who is unsupervised and out of control on the internet at her mom's?

My 11 year old step daughter is on the internet about 6 hours a day when at her mom's house. She has posted her phone number numerous times and has lost privileges a lot when she is with us. She just recently was asking a boy if he wanted to kiss her and what else he wanted to do. She asked her friends brother to be her boyfriend, he's 2 years older, and then planned to go spend the night at her friends house(while at moms). For the first time in 5 years mom actually acted like she cared when my husband called and stopped the sleep over but of course my step daughter just gets mad at us because mom doesn't take anything seriously after she gets off the phone with my husband.


How do we get through to her when there are no guidelines or supervision in her mom's home? We don't want everything to be a constant fight but are very concerned with the escalation especially since school is out and she has nothing else to do at her mom's. We have joint custody but are trying to get full at this time. We know that she is not a little kid anymore and want to give her more freedoms but when she is given an inch she takes a dozen miles and stomps all over it.How do we get through to an 11 year old who is unsupervised and out of control on the internet at her mom's?
Behind The Smile has the right idea.


props go to him/herHow do we get through to an 11 year old who is unsupervised and out of control on the internet at her mom's?
Take her (the mother) back to court and get supervised visitation. The internet is nothing to be messed around with and this woman is endangering her child because she just doesn't care. That is as unhealthy as it is unsafe for the child. Not to mention the rest of your family, what if she gives her address out to some random serial killer?
If she is like this at 11 imagine how she will be in 3 years when she is a teenager!! Maybe she should stay at your house more often. Yes she is a little kid and no she does not need more freedoms. she should not be allowed on the computer for more than like an hour, and you should probably block chat rooms and stuff like that. well good luck
A lot of people could say that since your only her step-mom you have no say, but they can fall over and croak. This could seriously hurt her in the future and she could end up in rehab, with an STD, or pregnant. You could IM her as a random guy who is say 13 or 14. After a while make things more serious and get a little creepy. Get a guy friend that she doesn't know to call her and ask where she is and if he can come over. Scare her out of being so open on the internet where she doesn't know people. You could taker her computer, but that won't teach her anything important.
You and your husband need to stand firm on what is right. The child will respect you for it later on. And Pray, Pray alot.


The other thing you can do is to get the word of God into the child, in a non-condemning, non-threatening way.


The best way to pray, and the best classes for biblical knowledge are from The Way International, ( www.theway.org ) for you, your husband, and your children. This would also help the biological mother to learn to be a biblical parent as well.


Keep up the good work, and I hope I have helped.





BTW, I am going through the same type of thing with my ex-wife, and my kids are turning out ok. The Way has really helped us to stay on track.

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